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Every Day Acts of Peace

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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Los Angeles 2010: Exhausted from My Own Betrayal

Day and night cooperate to unify the whole,
day does not oppress night, and dark does not suppress light -
each at their core contains the truth of the other.
Life is alchemical and always, ever and ever more, forever and ever after
a restorative dance moving with a sense of optimism for the future.

My beliefs and choices are personal to myself –
mere intellectual concepts made to be naturally altered,
destroyed in each moment 
to enable and expand the art of my self-expression.
I craft myself aware, 
sculpt my self-identity, 
I am, 
and so I am recreationally self-defining.
Each day I birth the extraordinary lightness of my being
to oversee the demise of my dualistic mediocracy –
to oppose any divisive rule imposed on me, 
by my own mediocre self-governing principals.
I expose the pain that I experience 
to transcend and transform the pain that I cause.

The nature of creation is spiraling escalation –
even during times of contraction, 
I am simultaneously expanding. 
The challenge of my unknown 
sharpens my sense of self-determination,
the confrontation of my self, known, 
heightens my sense of self-realization –
life is not a test, I am, I exist, 
and all ready – I know the score.
I am not afraid of placing my attention on the beauty in this world,
I do not believe evil will grow unruly if devoid of my gaze –
simply I have learned, 
and so I am aware, 
that love transforms.

The gain after the fire is the replenishment of the earth; 
after the storm the air is clear.
I still, 
and redefine my past behind me 
to carry nothing more than my purity forward.
I still, 
and create 
vibrant child-like innocence and trust by being present –
if experience all around me is demeaning and devious.

I still, 
and meditate 
on restorative peace 
to strengthen the harmony 
of my core’s presence –
if experience all around me is disheartening and dishonest.

I still, 
and purify 
any and all discord and dissonance, 
so my presence synchronizes my actions –
sounds out 
and manifests 
significant resonance, 
to orchestrate the unification of my story.

How can I be so nonsensical in such a sensual world?
Beauty all around me, 
how could I behave as if this world smells only repulsive and unattractive?

Vibrating color unappreciated is tasteless, 
an unsavory course that causes indiscrete irregularity.

If Soul is left unknown and untouched, 
we lay in virginal beds of senseless determination –
only to die mind-numbing deaths ...
pretending to be something other than we are, is boring.

Whoever said ...
that monotony and effort are required to be in relationship with one’s self ...
was masquerading as a self-saboteur, 
a self-controlled artist restraining their own imagination.

I clear my mind, 
I die to the past to remain present in simplicity –
and pray 
that the insanity of my contortions 
extort my Soul from my familiar patterns.
I am not blind in a world of growing illumination –
in such a musical world 
I hear the song of life 
animating the vessel of my meaning.

Playing a role takes so much effort, 
an exertion so full of impotent try,
that it manifests tiresome inertia 
into ever and ever deepening 
virulent weakness –
I sleep for days when I am inauthentic, 
exhausted from my own betrayal.

~~ Other People's Fingerprint ~~
Sometime after 1923 Brendan Behan wrote;
“Many of our fears are tissue paper thin,
and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.”