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Every Day Acts of Peace

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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Los Angeles 2010: Exhausted from My Own Betrayal

Day and night cooperate
to unify the whole,
day does not oppress night, 
and dark does not suppress light -
each at their core 
contains the truth of the other.

Life is alchemical 
and always, 
ever and ever more, 
forever and ever after
a restorative dance 
with a sense 
of optimism 
for the future.

My beliefs and choices 
are personal to my Self –
mere intellectual concepts 
made to be naturally altered,
destroyed in each moment 
to enable and expand 
the art of my Self expressing.

I craft my Self aware, 
sculpt my Self identity, 
I am, 
and so I am 
recreationally Self defining.

Each day I birth 
the extraordinary lightness 
of my 
to oversee the demise 
of my 
dualistic mediocracy –
to oppose any divisive rule 
imposed on me, 
by my own 
mediocre Self governing principals.

I expose the pain 
that I experience 
to transcend and transform 
the pain that I cause.

The nature of creation 
is spiraling escalation.
Even during times of contraction 
I am 
simultaneously expanding. 

The challenge of my unknown 
sharpens my sense 
of Self determination,
the confrontation of my Self, 
known -
challenging my unknown 
heightens my sense 
of Self realization -
life is not a test, 
I am, 
I exist, 
and all ready
I know the score.

I am not afraid 
of placing my attention 
on the beauty in this world,
I do not believe evil 
will grow unruly 
if devoid of my gaze.
Simply I have learned, 
and so I am aware, 
that love transforms.

The gain after the fire 
is the replenishment of the earth; 
after the storm the air is clear.

I still, 
and redefine my past behind me 
to carry nothing more 
than my purity forward.

I still, 
and create 
vibrant child-like innocence and trust 
by being present –
if experience all around me 
is demeaning and devious.

I still, 
and meditate 
on restorative peace 
to strengthen the harmony 
of my core’s presence –
if experience 
all around me 
is disheartening 
and dishonest.

I still, 
and purify 
any and all discord 
and dissonance -
so my presence 
synchronizes my actions,
sounds out 
and manifests 
significant resonance, 
to orchestrate 
the unification 
of my story.

How can I be so nonsensical 
in such a sensual world?
Beauty all around me, 
how could I behave as if 
this world smells 
only repulsive 
and unattractive?

Vibrating color 
unappreciated is tasteless, 
an unsavory course 
that causes indiscrete irregularity.

If Soul is left unknown and untouched, 
we lay in virginal beds of senseless determination –
only to die mind-numbing deaths ...
pretending to be something other than we are is boring.

Whoever said ...
that monotony and effort are required 
to be in relationship 
with one’s Self ...
was masquerading 
as a Self saboteur, 
a Self controlled artist 
restraining their own imagination.

I clear my mind, 
I die to the past 
to remain present 
in simplicity –
and meditate 
transforming my insanity 
all that contorts and extorts 
my Soul from my familiar patterns.

I am not blind 
in a world 
of growing illumination.

In such a musical world 
I hear the song of life 
animating the vessel of my meaning.

Role playing, to play a role, takes so much effort -
an exertion so full of impotent try,
that it manifests tiresome inertia 
into ever and ever deepening virulent weakness.

I sleep for days when I am inauthentic, 
exhausted from my own betrayal.

~~ Other People's Fingerprint ~~
Sometime after 1923 Brendan Behan wrote;
“Many of our fears are tissue paper thin,
and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.”

                         "Self Portrait" by Karin Lisa Atkinson