Los Angeles 2010: Exhausted from My Own Betrayal

Day and night cooperate
to unify the whole,

day does not oppress night, 
and dark does not suppress light -

each at their core 
contains the truth of the other.

Life is alchemical 
and always, 
ever and ever more, 
forever and ever after,

a restorative dance 
moving 
with a sense 
of optimism 
for the future.

My beliefs and choices 
are personal to my Self.
Mere intellectual concepts 

made to be naturally altered,

destroyed in each moment 

to enable and expand 
the art of my Self 
experiencing expression.

I craft my Self aware, 

sculpt my Self identity, 

I am, and so I am, 

recreationally Self defining.

Each day I birth 
the extraordinary lightness of my being

to oversee the demise 
of my dualistic mediocracy.

To oppose any divisive rule 
imposed on me, by my own 

mediocre Self governing principals.

I expose the pain 
that I experience 

to transcend and transform 
the pain that I cause.

The nature of creation 
is spiraling escalation.
Even during times of contraction 

I am simultaneously expanding. 

The challenge of my unknown 

sharpens my sense of Self determination,

the confrontation of my Self, known -

challenges my unknown, 
Heightens my sense 
of Self realization.

Life is not a test, 
I am, I exist, and all ready

I know the score.

I am not afraid 
of placing my attention 
on the beauty in this world.

I do not believe evil 
will grow unruly 
if devoid of my gaze.

Simply I have learned, 

and so I am aware, 

that love transforms.

The gain after the fire 
is the replenishment of the earth.

After the storm the air is clear.

I still and redefine my past behind me 

to carry nothing more ahead of me, 
than my purity forward within me.

I still and create vibrant 
child-like innocence and trust.
I believe in being present,
and in being present, that

I will be an experience, 
of decorous acts that decorate 
all that is around me.

One way to create depreciation, 
of all demeaning and devious acts,
is to create value in appreciating
all that holds love for meaningful peace.

I still and meditate 

on restorative peace 

to strengthen the harmony 

of my core’s presence –

especially when the experience 

all around me is disheartening 
and dishonest.

I still and purify, 

any and all discord and dissonance,

by being present,
and so my presence 
synchronizes my actions -

Sounds out and manifests 

significant resonance which orchestrates 
the unification of my story.

How can I be so nonsensical 
in such a sensual world?

Beauty all around me, 

how could I behave as if 
this world smells 
only repulsive and unattractive?

Vibrating color 
unappreciated is tasteless, 

an unsavory course 
that causes indiscrete irregularity.

If Soul is left unknown and untouched, 

we lay in virginal beds of senseless determination –

only to die mind-numbing deaths.

Pretending, to be something other than we are, is boring.

Whoever said that monotony 
and effort are required 

to be in relationship 
with one’s Self -

was masquerading 
as a Self saboteur, 

a Self controlled artist 
restraining their own imagination.

I clear my mind, 

continuously and effortlessly,

I die to the past to remain present 
in simplicity and meditate 

transforming my lunacy -

all that insanely contorts and extorts 

my Soul from my familiar peaceful patterns.

I am not blind 
in a world 
of growing illumination.

In such a musical world 

I hear the song of life 

animating the vessel of my meaning.

Role playing, to play a role, takes so much effort.

An exertion so full of impotent try,

that it manifests tiresome inertia 

into ever and ever deepening virulent weakness.

I sleep for days when I am inauthentic, 

exhausted from my own betrayal.

~~ Other People's Fingerprint ~~

Sometime after 1923 Brendan Behan wrote;

“Many of our fears are tissue paper thin,

and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.”

                         "Self Portrait" by Karin Lisa Atkinson

Photography by Karin Lisa Atkinson

Yucatan 1986: Integrated Power Produces Certainty

I think I am dreaming, 
when I see a face of a woman,

trapped in the ruins of a temple, 
overlooking the ocean.

I see this woman imagine her future, 
and then let go of her grasp on time.

Her next choice is cleared, 
reduced into an incremental moment.

Her result is grounded,
an accessible next step in time.

I touch the crumbling stone ledge, 
the angelic-fallings resting

on this window sill, 
still here, 
as a life-force-surge imprinted by sorrow.

The woman’s essence remains, 
from once upon a time long before now.

Confined and ghostly-hand printed
transparent remnants left for me to feel

and fold into my presence – 
this woman has surpassed time and its boundaries.

The woman’s emotions enter 
and overwhelm me – 
I feel her.

I feel her fear 
that her soul is falling, 
over a cliff edge

to be frenzied and churned, 
by the milky-white waves crashing below.

People here tell me stories of a Goddess,

who guards these temple grounds, 
where she was eventually imprisoned.

She found absolution in isolation -
isolation in birth and isolation in death.

Memory is a force, 
that goes beyond this incarnation.

Without knowing why
I am transported back in time

to the moment 
my consciousness entered the fertilized egg.

I tap into the courage awarded me
the moment I chose birth canal exit 
into an expanded community of consciousness.

Memory it is not a force that needs to be feared.
Memory communicates to me
to recall my personal power –

the unique, individualized original essence of me.

My afterbirth bits of my energy ...
I unconsciously left behind ...
somewhere ...
scattered back in time ...
overtime embedded within
the various life experiences, of me.

Our bodies can reflect 
the sum, total, all 
of our experience.

Empowered and strengthened
I am carried to the ledges of my own intentions.

I do not yet comprehend my decisions,

but I am required to face the fear
of my unknown choices.

I must let go not knowing
what my results will surrender me to.

Perhaps this Mayan woman, 
whose spirit has long since passed from this planet, 

intentionally left behind
the heart-prints of her Soul to show me ...

how to use my intention
to replenish my passion,

and integrate this power ...
my power into my presence.

Since re-membering all my experiences, 
from birth into present time,

I feel less like a concept
and more grounded in the reality of my own existence.

I feel less scattered, shattered and overshadowed,

I feel more fully the daily experience of reincarnating  -
waking up and reintegrating back into my body.

Each event surrounding my past, present and future 
has clarified and cleared 
from my felt experiences held within my body.

The sensation of my integrated power releasing
produces a certain kind of certainty -

certainty that I am ...
certainty that being still ...
certainty that being at peace ...
creates a certain kind of knowingness ...
that I am here.

~~ Other People's Fingerprints ~~

Sometime around the year 600 BC, Sappho wrote;

“You may forget but let me tell you this:

someone in some future time will think of us…

Although they are only breath, 
words … are immortal.”

"Spring New Growth" by Karin Lisa Atkinson

Image Credit: Tz'utujil Mayan Indigenous Art of Guatemala

"The Secret Life of Water"

Nova Scotia 2001: Multiverses Vibrating and Singing Manifest Our Blessings Into Focus

Most of what we swallow does us no good at all
unless during the digestion
we are consciously creating our process.

I am making fish tacos and vegetarian chili
for my brother and parents,
while high in the sky
a hurricane builds up outside,
above the rainfall.

Below the rainfall,
in the downpour,
I stir the chili faster and faster,
then slow down
easing into gentle.

Intensity is the whirl in the pool,
the strong current that directs,
and steers the river’s life force
to flow towards its destiny.

Intensity drives the river,
transforming rage and depression
into crystalline waterfalls
cascading surrender to unknown depths.

My eyes are watering
from chopped onions
and the radio broadcast from Afghanistan -
as I stare into the chili
a warm tear falls
diluting the heat
of the tomato, spice and honey.

Intensity is the well from which the water is drawn to quench mediocrity.
Intensity transforms lack of imagination into a surplus of inspiration.

Intensity transmutes into rainbows
colored multi-faceted, multi-dimensional
silken veils of arched light
performing shimmering transparent flexibility.

Intensity is the desire to feel,
respect and value everyone’s tears
and cries in the dark -
and cries in the light.

Intensity is the intension to be alive,
laugh in the light
and embrace change
within the darkness of our hearts.

I add another pinch of dark brown chocolate cocoa,
the color adds richness to the body of this broth.
With my tongue I taste the chocolate honey chili
feeling the strength of integrated spice.

Intensity nurtures our cells to grow strong
so every night we travel in our dreams
to places our soul knows and recognizes -
places where all of humanity receives blessings,
and all of humanity's prayers are answered.

Some individuals pray for death, revenge and remorse,
while others pray for life, love and freedom born in forgiveness.
Each individual prayer balances out the collective whole,
desire, want and need for more than what is seen and heard.
Each individual lives out what they pray for,
if they pray for revenge they live out revenge,
if they pray for love they live out love.

Intensity teaches us to dream our own dreams,
so each night we sleep with our own dreams,
so each day we wake with our own dreams,
and live our dreams in order to grow stronger,
and closer to our own individual soul.

My whole pot is full of a diversity of chili beans,
with some varieties sized, shaped and colored,
different from the rest, each one unique.
To take my spoon and try to search out
that one bean I perceive as harmfully different,
is like trying to find needles of hay straws,
within stacks of hay, in fields growing hay.
Seeking one fish in the sea, one bird in the sky,
or one separate criminal in a whole country -
is a mission which has lost its truth and seeks vision.

Lost vision first seeks purposefulness within,

then knows the value of what lies within the heart,

and can see meaningfulness beyond the tip of one's nose.

I decide to not destroy the whole pot of chili
in my attempt to find only one bean.

Intensity dances through our nervous system
informing circulation to ignite our ambition,
and desire to create intention and action.

Intensity is legacy in motion.
From first breath filling creation,

each moment becomes an act of being still 

and knowing That I Am.

Hear. Here.
Until final breath fills eternity
with the impression of all our sensitivities senses.

Intensity is the sensational poetry of inspiration,
our humanity’s motion, smell and taste
whispered in our ear as fate,
and faith in the heat of tasting how.
Seek to touch community through connection,
and intimacy wanting to be heroically embraced.

Intensity is riches fulfilled
by the wisdom of loving communication.
Listening and glancing into multiverses
vibrating and singing manifest
our blessings into focus.

~~ Other people's Fingerprints ~~
Sometime after 1856 Booker Taliaferro Washington said,
“I will permit no man
to narrow and degrade my soul
by making me hate him...”

"Ancient Beach, Nova Scotia" by Karin Lisa Atkinson

Beijing 1989: I Am Full of Peace, I Create My Own Truth

Beijing vivid
wonderful city full of life -
on streets, in houses,
canals, trees, hills,
horses and carts.

Only the fired coal,
from stoves cooking dinner,
and the enlightened songs,
from birds,
ever crowd the city at dusk.

Sunrises are slow,
lazy with haze and smoke
from mid night dampness.
The early dew,
my faithful companion
escorts me to watch the day unfold.

Vendors set up a convoy
of street side market stalls
and cry encouragement -
to older men and women
who take morning exercise.

Early enough to remain safe
from the army of bicycles
ridden by dare devil youth,
emerging energized and seeking solace
from their previous night’s sleep,

The daily task of peacemaking.
The nightly storm of creating peace.

In Dawn’s near beginning
mist creeps in to erase
the topical habits
of the last active people -
most recently awakened
from the game of death
and life.

I gain a slight understanding
to the spirits
patrolling the heart of the city -
as I take the first watch
of the first active citizens
wandering the edges
around the gates of heavenly peace.

Nothing to lose
and everything to gain
by strolling the parameters of integrity,
and exploring the character of the neighborhood.

The nightly storm of creating peace.
The daily task of peacemaking.

I touch our creature comforts
and gain essence
to understand our hearts
within this city of walled thoughts
forbidden
waiting
to be
forgiven.

No thing and every thing is bidden with faith
and liberated in one deep united breath of fate.

I spend brief quiet moments
stirring the vulnerable psyche
within my emotions -
defenseless while they are waking.

My at-risk thoughts
are short lived here in the open,
my feelings involve
dare devil skills to execute
and a great deal of energy
to narrow the focus
of my minds eye’s attention.

I am surrounded by my own senses
and I expect imminent consumption –
not only from the noisy hoards of tasks
mastering my day,
but the psychic warfare
shattering my mind.

The daily task of peacemaking.
The nightly storm of creating peace.

I meditate and pray to be free and clear –
that the events which disrupt my reason
will free up what is trapped
unconscious in my space.
Grateful to be clear within mySelf
ready for new development,
and welcoming increased growth.

I am free within my Self to choose.
I choose love, I choose expansion.
I create peace full harmony.
I am alive within my Self.
I am full of peace creating my bliss of truth.

The nightly storm of creating peace.
The daily task of peacemaking.

Living life to my fullest
is as simple as being
Self power full,
even when I feel my Self
less than full
of my own power.

I am free within my Self to choose.
I choose love, I choose expansion.
I create peace full harmony.
I am alive within my Self.
I am full of peace, I create my own of truth.

~~Other People's Fingerprints ~~
During the Zhou Dynasty, Laozi (Li Er 李耳)wrote,
"Music in the soul can be heard by the universe"

"Ancient Wisdom - Shaolin Temple"

Shaoshi Mountain, China 1992

by Karin Lisa Atkinson

"Life is a shower 
that purifies the body, 
so it can host the experience 
of the presence of a Soul."
Poem by Karin Lisa Atkinson, June 6th, 2014 

Los Angeles 2010: I Fully Exist

My poems

took me my entire life to produce.

The stories I tell 
are non-scripted 

aberrations 
of time, travel and tension.

My earlier work was violent, 

absurd, non-linear and sad.

Lesions oozing 
from the world 
of stirred realities 

and confused illusions,

I never knew 
which was which …

but I always felt 
every breath deeply 

and every tear dramatically –

that is when I could cry…

most times my eyes 
were blind and dry –

I had seen and given, 
too much of myself

to produce any more 
expendable moisture 
of any kind.

I gave away my Soul 

each moment, 
while creating the art 
of my living.

I gave away 
my Soul, 

performing 
for the masses, 
of undesiring 
audiences.

I no longer stand 
on window ledges 

and rooftops watching 
pedestrians,

shouting out to them, 

at them 

or with them…

Nor do I write 
anymore of wounds

to perpetuate 
the violent complexity 

of my inner struggle,

and defeated Self-esteem.

I no longer 
bang my head 

against walls, 
sidewalks 
or doorways 
to the unknown.

I no longer 
roam the streets 
homeless,

rejected 
and denied -

with no place to sleep,

and no sleep to reap 
deeply fulfilling dreams.

There are things that I saw 

that no one should ever have to witness seen.

There are words that I heard 

that no one should ever have to hear spoken.

Due to it all, life, my life -

this experience of living hell 

and questionable mental sanity -

I have blossomed –

flowered from a seed hiding, 

germinating, in the dirt,

into a woman forged of fortitude

to battle standing up 
the chaos of the world within,

and the world without.

I know I am foolish enough 
to always find a store of optimism,

to forgive everything
and wake up the next day, fully present,

having forgot the ruin 
and destruction of the past day before.

I know that I am a loving person,

and that each moment is an opportunity 

to redefine myself, to myself, for myself.

I know fully
that each day 
is an exercise in discovering - 

new ways to love myself,

no matter what…

and so the journey goes on -
until it ceases to exist…

My eternal I 
further ventures

into the wonderland 
of the bodiless soul of adventure -

I will never cease, 

nor desist, 

because without a doubt, 

I know I fully exist.

~~ Other People's Fingerprints ~~

 William F. Scolavino wrote;

“The height of your accomplishments

will equal the depth of your convictions.”

Photography by Karin Lisa Atkinson

by Karin Lisa Atkinson